Depressed

I'm feeling quite depressed lately. I'm not liking how things are and I'm not liking who I am. I'm mad, sad, and angry. I just want to cry and throw an adult tantrum. I feel like I had a chance to fix stuff and I messed it all up. I've been mad at my husband for awhile now and I feel that its his fault I feel this way. He's not been making things easy on me and I feel like I'm screaming at him yet he has yet to listen to my cries. I just feel like I would be better off if I up and left with just me and my kids. I'm seriously so done at this point in time. I want to believe that things will change but in reality who am I kidding?

Working It Out

I started my morning off with a healthy shake. and 40 churches on both sides I also am working on toning my arms. I'm pretty confident that I can loose this weight but wow 100lbs is allot and I've never been this big without being pregnant before. I have allot on my mind but working out is TOP on my list. I live and breath thinking how will this affect my weight. If I eat that will I be full, how much of that do I need. Put the chips down, put the cookie down. I'm working with a few friends and one of my friends is 193lbs and wants to get down to 140 before her wedding in April. Its not a competition but I have 50 more pounds than her to loose and so that's pushing me. 

Adoption

In my 5 year plan I listed adoption. This is something that is close to my heart and I've not been able to shake the feeling of wanting more kids for several years now. I was reading a blog about a mom who never considered having her own kids she has adopted 4 kids (2 boys and 2girls) and she has so many compelling points to how amazing adopting a child is. I love my kids but both of them have made mention of a younger brother or younger sibling. My husband how ever is find with how things are now.

There are a few things that I would like to see completed before we bring another child into the family.
1) Me either working at a SAHM or at the school
2) A new house or a major remodel on this house
3) Out of debt
4) I would like to be in my twenties when adopting.

This won't be easy but I feel with hard work, dedication, and sacrifice our future can be all that we want it to be. I just wish I could have the same views as my husband on the having more kids or not situation.

Wait... What?

This is a great place for me to express true feelings and emotions without people putting my face to it. I blog about my real life, my sims, and anything I feel is important to me. I must say that this is the bet thing for me since I'm not one to put myself out there and be public but I feel I might be able to to find help or be helpful to someone who can feel what I'm going through.

So don't be confused this is a blog that is truly a World Of My Own.